DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCES

Per the NCADV, common signs of an abusive partner include:

• Extreme jealousy

• Possessiveness

• Unpredictability

• A bad temper

• Cruelty to animals

• Verbal abuse

• Extremely controlling behavior

• Antiquated beliefs about roles of women and men in relationships

• Forced sex or disregard of their partner's unwillingness to have sex

• Sabotage of birth control methods or refusal to honor agreed upon methods

• Blaming the victim for anything bad that happens

• Sabotage or obstruction of the victim's ability to work or attend school

• Controls all the finances

• Abuse of other family members, children or pets

• Accusations of the victim flirting with others or having an affair

• Control of what the victim wears and how they act

• Demeaning the victim either privately or publicly

• Embarrassment or humiliation of the victim in front of others

• Harassment of the victim at work

​

Per the Very Well Mind, common signs of an abused partner include:

• Physical injuries

  • black eyes, bruises on arms, busted lips, red or purple marks on neck, sprained wrists​

  • Weak or inconsistent explanations for physical injuries

  • Wearing lengthy clothing or heavier makeup to conceal injuries

• Emotional signs

  • Changes in sleep habits (sleeping too much or not enough)

  • Developing a drug or alcohol problem

  • Extremely apologetic or meek

  • Loss of interest in daily activities

  • Low self-esteem

  • Seeming fearful

  • Symptoms of depression

  • Talking about or attempting suicide

• Changes in behavior

  • Becomes reserved and distant

  • Begins isolating themselves by cutting off contacts with friends and family members

  • Cancels appointments or meetings with you at the last minute

  • Drops out of activities they would usually enjoy

  • Exhibits excessive privacy concerning their personal life or the person with whom they're in a relationship

  • Is often late to work or other appointments

​

Who is affected by abuse?

Anyone can be abusive and anyone can be the victim of abuse. Abuse happens regardless of gender, age, sexuality, race, economic status, ability, citizenship status, or any other factor or identity. Feelings of confusion, fear, or anger are normal responses to abuse, but they may also make you feel isolated or like no one will understand. Remember that expert advocates from The Hotline are available 24/7 to talk through your situation and help you build a safety plan tailored to your circumstances. Being abusive is a decision: it’s a strategic behavior by your partner to create their desired power dynamic.

The Hotline 

https://www.thehotline.org

​

What if I suspect a friend, family member, or coworker is currently affected by DV (awarek.org)?

• Don’t be afraid to reach out to them. Tell them you’re concerned for their safety and want to help.

• Be supportive and listen patiently. Acknowledge their feelings and be respectful of their decisions.

• Help them recognize that the abuse is not “normal” and is NOT their fault. Everyone deserves a healthy, non-violent relationship.

• Focus on your friend or family member, not the abusive partner. Even if your loved one stays with their partner, it’s important they still feel comfortable talking to you about it.

• Connect them to resources in their community that can give them information and guidance. Remember, AWARE (awareak.org) can help.

• Help them develop a safety plan.

• If they break up with the abusive partner, continue to be supportive after the relationship is over.

• Even when you feel like there’s nothing you can do, don’t forget that by being supportive and caring — you’re already doing a lot.

• Don’t contact their abuser or publicly post negative things about them online. It’ll only worsen the situation for your friend.